in response to Jaja07... My dad is so awful. I can't even begin to tell you how how horrible he has made my life since my parent's divorced when I was nine. I am now 45 and he is starting in on my kids and I just cannot allow it. I can't believe I grew up thinking it was normal to feel so much shame and hurt and responsibility for a parent's happiness. Me and my siblings have just started standing up to his bullying ways in recent years and its sad because he refuses to see a doctor for his obvious tremors and neurological failings. He has no friends because he alienates everyone he has contact with, so his whole life his happiness (or lack thereof) has fallen on our shoulders. Now he is old, bitter, and alone and of course, it is our fault for not doing enough for him though we have done more for him than anyone other person I've known has done for a parent, to the point of damaging our own marriages. And this, even though he was a "Sunday to the movies" only parent for the first ten years of our parents divorce. I am just trying my best to make peace with who he is and what our relationship is before he goes so the hurt will not destroy me. Every funeral, wedding, Christmas, Valentine's day, mother's day, father's day, birthday was EVER about that occassion. It has ALWAYs been about how Dad will react. Will he through a fit, be pouty, who's going to fawn over him so he doesn't get upset, etc....? It's ridiculous but it's how we grew up. Fortunately, it has made us all better people, spouses, and parents.
